Cloudy With A Chance Of Heartbreak
by hevaann
Summary: He called him Judas, because Judas betrayed with a kiss. Ryan/Espo


**Cloudy With A Chance Of Heartbreak**

_**A Ryan/Espo Fanfiction**_

_He called him Judas, because Judas betrayed with a kiss. (Set after 'Cloudy With A Chance of Murder', Season 5)_

:-:

They left their cars at the precinct and took a taxi. Usually one of them would have offered to drive but Esposito knew he had to get drunk tonight and Ryan had barely said a word since agreeing to join him. They headed to an old cop bar down-town. Sports bars were obviously out of the question and 'The Old Haunt' was too public; after months of bickering they needed some privacy in order to reconnect.

And alcohol, lots of alcohol.

Bringing the drinks over to a secluded table, Espo was drawn to the shiner on Ryan's face: a punch that was meant for him. And he still wanted to be mad at his partner, but indisputable video evidence had shown Ryan stepping in without a second thought – more like second nature. Yet Espo _was_ still mad at him. Maybe always would be.

"I missed you, bro," Ryan said with a nod of thanks, taking the glass from Espo as his partner slid in beside him.

"I know, man," Esposito almost smiled, "Me too," and that bit was true – he did miss Ryan, but most of all he missed the way the two of them had been back before…well…

Espo drunk deeply in the hope of disguising the look on his face but Ryan knew him too well to be fooled.

"You're still mad at me going to Gates, aren't ya?" Ryan looked crestfallen.

"You got me suspended!"

Ryan visibly winced at this, but his face softened when Espo turned to look at him.

"But you saved Beckett's life – it was the right call to make."

The relief at being forgiven shone out of Ryan's eyes and its intensity gave Esposito stomach ache. The pain passed momentarily across his face and Ryan raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"You know I was mad at you before that though, right?" Esposito admitted, more to the table in front of him than to his partner.

"No, how so?" Ryan responded in an attempt to sound casual while refusing to look at Espo and instead taking a hefty swig of beer. He was pulled back into the situation when Esposito ran a solitary finger over the ring on Ryan's left hand. He attempted to pull away but Espo had grabbed hold of his wrist.

"You married her, dude," Esposito hissed into Ryan's ear, "After everything, you still married her."

Now Ryan turned to look at him, but those blue eyes still hurt too much. Espo dropped Ryan's wrist and pushed away from the booth.

"I need another beer."

He was halfway back to the bar when he noticed Ryan out of the corner of his eye – the other man attempting to sneak out of the door unheeded. Cursing in Spanish, Esposito ran back for his jacket and then followed his partner out into the night of New York.

Catching up with the detective a few yards away, Esposito swung Ryan into a neighbouring alley and slammed the man back against the wall. Ryan looked up at him, eyes wide and wet, and whatever arguments Esposito had died on his tongue at the sight.

Without stepping back, he released his grip on Ryan and instead steadied his hands against the wall in front of him, resting his forehead against the other man's. The words that came next were barely a whisper.

"I can deal with you not loving me, Chica, but not with you pretending you never did."

And then Ryan's breath was hot against his mouth, his hand a gentle caress against Esposito's cheek, and he began to think – maybe…

But then Ryan carefully pushed him away, found Esposito's eyes with his own and finally – finally – said the words Espo had waited years to hear.

"Of course I loved you."

But it was punctuated by the ring on his finger, by the hands that won't linger longer than necessary. And Esposito broke inside to know there was a time when Ryan had been his, and that he was his no more.

Espo pulled himself back and away, slammed closed the door in his heart that contained Detective Kevin Ryan, and forced a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"So, are we cool?" Ryan asked, and Espositio just hit him affectionately on the shoulder.

"Next round's on you, bro," He told Ryan, before rounding the corner and heading back to the pub. After a couple of minutes Ryan followed him; he had to stop and text Jenny to say he would be late that night.

Esposito watched, and he said nothing.


End file.
